Tension in any relationship usually causes me to want to fix things right away. “Let me say it in a different way so you understand… Let me raise my voice so you know that I am convinced I am right (?)… I am going to go over this same territory again and again, until….”
I didn’t say I was a “good fixer”.
Being a fixer comes down to taking my eyes off Jesus and refusing to rest in His promise to personally teach us all – Himself. Will I trust His work in another? Will I trust that my brother and sister and wife long to “take His yoke upon them and learn from Him”? Will I expose the hidden arrogance in me that causes me to say to myself – and to them – that I have a greater wisdom? “LISTEN TO ME!”
I am frustrated with myself and wonder when I will fully believe and act on the Scriptures that tell us that teaching is ultimately God’s job? Yes, there is a “gift” of teaching but we all know the difference between trying to fix someone and genuinely functioning in the gifting of the Spirit.
“As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him” (1 John 2:27).
“I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:10b-12).
As a counselor I have appreciated many of the writings of Larry Crabb, especially as he tries to make the connection between the counselor’s practice and his dependence on the Spirit of God to lead in that process. I have this quote from him posted on the wall staring me in the face as I write these words. Crabb says:
“Lord, only Your life touching this person’s heart can do what needs to be done. My skill, my cleverness, my knowledge add up to nothing if your life is not the energy controlling everything I do. Father, I am overwhelmed by the awful possibilities this person is facing. I can feel the terror in my bones. But I also taste the peace beneath the terror of knowing the power of Your grace. Reveal Your Son in me that I might be a powerful instrument for good in Your Spirit’s hands.”
Lord, allow this prayer to reach beyond the “office” and be the center piece of every relationship You have blessed me to own – especially my marriage.